"Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough."--Groucho Marx

"I would like a Triple Skinny, two-thirds decaf, half-chocolate, no whip grande mocha. Oh yeah, extra foam. To go."--Toby's Mac

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king."--J. R. R. Tolkien

"PO-TA-TOES! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!"--Samwise Gamgee

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."--Douglas Adams

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."--Mark Twain

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."--Douglas Adams

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."--Bilbo Baggins

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."--Douglas Adams

"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER."--Groucho Marx

"I wouldn't wear leather to bed."--Brittany Fader

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it."--Mark Twain

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."--Douglas Adams

"That which yields is not always weak."--Phedre no Delaunay

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villians and knaves.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do-well cads,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. "

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."--Groucho Marx

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."--Mark Twain

"Three rings for the Elven Kings under the sky
Seven for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of stone
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie
One Ring to rule them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to bring them all
And in the darkness, bind
them
In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."--Douglas Adams

"Love and hate are two sides of the same blade, and and edge finer honed than yon Cassiline's blade divides them."--Melisande Shahrizai

"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."--Mark Twain

"Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it … win through, and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with."--Douglas Adams

"Go, and never darken my towels again."--Groucho Marx

"Up to my ears
In bitter tears.
Can't believe I've sunk this low
As I walk the plankton
Inner sanctum.
Got outta Dodge,
Sailed on a bon-less
Bon voyage.
You said North,
I headed South.
Tossed overboard.
Good Lord, that's a really large mouth...

I'm sleeping with fishes here,
In the belly of the whale.
I'm highly nutritious here,
In the belly of the whale.
Bad food, lousy atmosphere.
I don't wanna bellyache.
How long is this gonna take?

Woke up this morning kinda blue,
Thinking through that age-old question:
How to exit a whale's digestion?
It might behoove me to be heaved.
Head out like a human comet.
*Larry the Cucumber*
Uh, guys? You might not wanna rhyme with comet!

I'm sleeping with fishes here,
In the belly of the whale.
I'm highly nutritious here,
In the belly of the whale.
I'm ready to reappear.
I don't wanna bellyache.
Lord, how long's this gonna take?

End times, they come rolling around.
Enzymes, they come breaking us down to the core.
The good Lord grants we all get a second chance.

I'm one of the dishes here,
In the belly of the whale.
They say I'm delicious here,
In the belly of the whale.
Lord, please make him chuck it all.
It's a gut call
In the belly of the whale.

I'm in the belly of the whale.
In the belly of the whale.
I'm in the belly.
In the belly of the whale.
I'm in the belly of the whale.
In the belly of the whale.
I'm in the belly...

In the belly of the whale
In an underwater jail
It's a tight squeeze.
It's a-gettin' to me,
But it's roomier
Than the tail.
Hey, sailor,
Got my flow free
Like a salmon to the sea
From the L.A. Symphony.
I'm a paddleboat
Paddlin' in their wake,
A fake free-styler,
But my unemployment pays.
I'm avoiding cliches
Like "whale of a tale" say
Or "you can't keep
A good man down,"
'Cause you can
And I've been there, man.
But I've been expectorated.
I'm elated!
I'm free like Willie!
Happy Day!
Oops,
That's a bit of a cliche.

In the belly..."--Newsboys

"All knowledge is worth having."--Anafiel Delaunay

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."--Douglas Adams

"Destiny is a name often given in retrospect to choices that had dramatic consequences."--J. K. Rowling

"I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't."--Mark Twain

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."--Groucho Marx

"Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends."--Gandalf

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."--Mark Twain

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."--Douglas Adams

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."--Groucho Marx

"I danced in the morning when the world was begun
I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun
And I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth
At Bethlehem I had my birth

I danced for the scribe and the Pharasee
But they would not dance and they wouldn’t follow me
I danced for the fishermen, for James and John
They came to me and the Dance went on

Dance, then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I’ll lead you all in the Dance, said he

I danced on the Sabbath when I cured the lame
The holy people said it was a shame
They whipped, and they stripped, and they hung me high
And they left me there on the cross to die

Dance, then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I’ll lead you all in the Dance, said he

I danced on the Friday and the sky turned black
It’s hard to dance with the Devil on your back
They buried my body and they thought I’d gone
But I am the Dance and I still go on

They cut me down and I lept up high
I am the life that will never, never die
I’ll live in you if you live in me
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he

Dance, then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I’ll lead you all in the Dance, said he

I am the Lord of the Dance, said he

Lord of the Dance!"